Thursday 10 November 2016

Counselling - An Honest Response.

I attended an assessment appointment on 9/11/16, so they could decide whether or not I needed counselling for the trauma' I have encountered throughout my life thus far.

My needs are too complex for KRASACC (Kirklees Rape and Sexual Assault Counselling Centre) to even contemplate my case, she thinks. That was 10 mins into the appointment!!! My appointment lasted an hour and a half.

It took the remaining hour and twenty minutes for her to actually build up the courage to admit they don't have the manpower, training or understanding to deal with me.

But that is OK.

At least she accepted her limitations.

Dr Peter Wells put in place everything I needed to sort out my persons. All I need is somebody to help support me while I deal with all the shit done to each of them before somebody gets us deaded. Then I can carry on representing survivors of bryn alyn community in iiCSA, like they should be.

One of the things she kept repeating was how high functioning i am. WTF??

Despite all this, I actually fail to see what was inaccurate in what the woman said, to be honest.
I went there knowing that would be the response because that is the response I have had every time I have presented myself to the people offering "help".
The help that other people insist is available is NOT available in Kirklees,
I do NOT need mental health support, 

My multiple persons are quite content co-existing tyVm, and considering you all communicate with the one that was artificially constructed to stop the world triggering my death wish, the very fact that some want to reduce me down to just one person, I find abhorrent. Tantamount to murderous intent to be perfectly honest.

I need sexual and emotional and physical and psychological abuse counselling.
I need somebody, One person, to sit and listen to my full tale, start to finish, without judging me, and without abandoning me, or silencing me.
Not some wanker that will sit there texting their other half, throwing in the occasional "Oh, that's awful, you must feel terrible."
Well, must I??
How about I feel unjustly treated, misrepresented and abandoned?
Unjustifiably deserted by those supposed to be looking out for me?
But terrible.....nah..... that's what you feel when the guilt is eating away at you. When you know you are to blame.
Well I'm telling you all..... I done nothing to feel shame for.
I don't feel terrible.
I don't feel sorry for myself.
I am certainly not the one at fault.
I feel manipulated, used, abused, abandoned and bloody angry as hell!!!!

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