One crucial piece of evidence was overlooked, obscured, hidden if you so please as to follow theorists, nay, realists down certain pathways as you seek the truth.
During my time at Gatewen Hall - 1990-1991, I conceived and gave birth to, a healthy baby boy whom I named David.
My son was the result of rape by a member of "care staff". I left Bryn Alyn Community approx 13months after joining them, with a newborn baby boy in my arms. This was approximately 1 month before all the Inquiries and Investigations into the ongoings of John Ernest Allen started rolling in.
I was moved back to West Yorkshire and did not even hear about the Waterhouse report until I was stood in Crown Court one day, just been cleared of Intent to supply Amphetamines, cannabis and LSD. Guilty on Personal usage for all.
The Judge finished passing sentence then informed me that I "Can no longer rely upon the sympathies of the Court as to my childhood plights and sufferings as that whole matter has now been laid to rest by the powers that be."
When pressed for clarification, he advised me that the year before (2000) had seen the conclusion and release of the Waterhouse Report, Lost In Care.
Stunned wasn't the word, but I recovered quickly enough to make it out of Bradford Crown Court and across the road to a bar at the Bus/Train terminal where my brief bought me several stiff drinks and a bag of weed to help settle my nerves
Following the Judges revelation/declaration, I tried to move on. Put the abuse behind me. Compartmentalise.....file and archive.....block and bury..... ignore and try to move on.....call it what you will, I tried to focus on the mental health issues that had placed me in that position, rather than the end result.
Meh....there was the odd pissed up brawl in Greenhead Park during a Unity gig, back in the "daze" in 'uddersfield, for which I invariably pulled a 1-2yr probation stretch....usually as one was finishing, I'd be re-referred for my next stint.....
I did 9 years of no arrests, no court cases. 8 years free of Probation.
Then one day I boots up the PC and see, splattered across every news site.....Cameron calls for Inquiry. Theresa May seeks answers.
Twenty-one years after I told my Social Worker about the abuse, 17 years after I told Halifax Family Courts about the abuse - yet nobody approached me still, or advised me about the ongoing Inquiries into the Home in which he had been conceived and born, somebody wanted the truth.
All the answers they needed left Bryn Alyn Community 21 years ago in a little baby car seat. The proof they seek, both then and now, slept the full 87 minutes it took to reach Halifax.
I spent 4 years in and out of his life, which was both selfishly destructive yet fulfilling, on both sides. Maybe I was wrong to spend those 4 years unwilling to give up. Perhaps I was right to keep fighting until I got him away from the Local Authority that placed me in harms way. I shall never know either way. All I know is I tried my best.
Hopefully, his last 17 years have been spent oblivious to the truth behind his existence, because nobody deserves this legacy to be thrust upon them, especially not as they turn 21 and "Officially" become a man in their own right.
Now all that remains of that truth can be found in my Medical records......oh wait, after viewing those at my GP surgery, under a Freedom of Info request, the years I was in care are ALL missing.....
Well Ok, in my Social Services files.....no, wait..... 4 months on, I'm still waiting for Calderdale to acknowledge receipt of the request, nevermind advise me as to the status of the request, which was hand delivered fyi.
Ok, so the proof must be in the files from Bryn Alyn Community.......oh shoot, I forgot, the Pickfords Furniture Storage facility in Chester took care of those with a mysterious explosion/fire which wiped out half the street irrc.
Ok, so the only accessible remaining proof is me! I painted a huge bullseye on my ass the day I rang the offices of Children's Commissioner for Wales, CPS, Victim Support, 3 different MP's Operation Pallial, Operation Yewtree and several random Child Abuse specialist solicitors. I THEN stuck a huge neon sign above my head the day I went public with my Macur response.
Bring it on Spooks. I know you're coming. You gotta. It's THE only way to silence me. Coz believe me, I ain't going away!!!